Bienvenidos a Escuela Para Padres Soy Nora Hidalgo, fundadora de este canal EL SUEÑO.. Sin sueño, sin suficiente sueño, morimos La peor tortura es que nos quiten el sueño En 4, 5 días, la gente muere Se nos enseña muy muy poco sobre el sueño En esta sociedad es casi fashion not to sleep It's nearly… I only did 5 hours.. Maybe if you are under 25 your body can do with less sleep,, but as soon as you start becoming older as an adult, the lack of sleep has deep impact on your way of living And when you don't have children it's up to you You make your life as you like You can make choices When you become a parent its much more difficult to think you have your own life That time is over You need to be fresh, alert, and your children are asking of you to ge present all the time So , a parent, with a huge lack of sleep, and we know from the first year breastfeeding, we are like zombies Even at night sigues en pijama.. Y ver si no tienes un pecho fuera de la blusa Yu tienes que estar bien para producir leche So you are out of order But a lot of this does continue because many parents start being accustomed not to sleep enough. They don't start thinking cómo me va a afectar en mi salud mental si no arreglo esto? When you sleep little you get tense and start yelling, not eat well, etc., a lot of things come with a lack of sleep, te cambia el umbral de AGUANTE, So as parent, you have to consider, how is my sleep Do I sleep enough And women need more sleep than men, scientific proof At least 8 yo9 hours with children under 7 to meet all the challenges Maybe its more imp to go early to bed than being on FB We think netflix is a good way to rest, but it takes your energy bc you dont detox, sand you start wearing down your organs SO please, parents, find ways to get more sleep And allow yourself to say: I am too tired, I can't be social It will come back, you will see But one thing is the adults Another is children Children cannot choose themselves; they don't know how many hours of sleep they need They don't know many things about what they need They have will forces but they don't know what is best for them So we need to step up to our responsibility and make sure under 7 they get 11 to 12 hours of sleep at night This is very very serious for a child When the child sleeps, it detox, but also grows and learns Sleep is the time when you learn\! In the daytime you consume impressions and imitate, but the night is used to understand … can make use fo what they have been through in their day On my many travels over the world, when I come to KG, i see more and more children arrive far too tired. They nearly fall asleep coming in and come lay themselves on the floor and sleep bc often they ar up far too late Me trauma ir al super y ver niños con sus papás a las 9 de la noche… y no puedo juzgar, yo no sé de su vida, seguramente que no tienen con quién dejarlos y era super urgente ir al super…???? Bc in modern life we forget that children need to sleep eat, early A different life than adults Nosotros (en México) cenamos muy tarde… sé que en otros países de LATAM es igual: 8, 9, 10, so you get very late to bed A child cannot manage such a life. It does its best, but will be runned down And it's very visible when children have awakened just 10 minutes before leaving the house, bc they have not come into their physical body They are not happy, not interested idn play Can become aggressive, introvert, cannot create social boundaries Cannot use all the pedagogical opportunities we offer them So, really take in to the whole life: what can I do at home so my child gets these 11-12 hours Bc this is needed And I know its very difficult in the modern life, for it does not fit for the little child bc the need of the child is so much sleep to be ready for life So, a lot of change also has to be done at home And yes, one of the parents will be first at home, if you put them to bed between 7a nd 8 Bc they have to get up at 6 or 7 So there is a sacrifice for one of the parents to not see the child in the evening So maybe the parent that comes late can be early with the child so he gets a fresh child to play and eat, etc. This is ery new In the old culture the children could sleep until 9 10 oclock But now they have to get up very early to go to the guarderia Its a shock for parents: I didn't\` think of that\! It will need changes at home Maybe you will have to do it slowly or you do it immediately bc its needed I hope in the KG the parents will do something together and then talk ato each other to give advice It means you are less social But it's only the first years, not the rest of your life When the children are early in bed.. You as a parent.. Have to go at 9 or 10, will have two hours for yourself\!\!\!’ WOW You never do That’s when you can have your candy and your chips and be in the media… So you actually create time with children and time for adults… make it possible to speak with your partner, bc this is a problem in relationships, slowly we disappear from each other. And our children want their mom and dad, but separation could be evitada si tuvieran tiempo para hablar o sentarse juntos… SLEEP is the most important STAR you can give yourself\!\!\!’ | Age Group | | Recommended Hours of Sleep Per Day | | :---: | :---: | :---: | | Newborn | 0–3 months | 14–17 hours (National Sleep Foundation)1 No recommendation (American Academy of Sleep Medicine)2 | | Infant | 4–12 months | 12–16 hours per 24 hours (including naps)2 | | Toddler | 1–2 years | 11–14 hours per 24 hours (including naps)2 | | Preschool | 3–5 years | 10–13 hours per 24 hours (including naps)2 | | School Age | 6–12 years | 9–12 hours per 24 hours2 | | Teen | 13–18 years | 8–10 hours per 24 hours2 | **MOVEMENT** Why do I say movement We used to walk every day… 6 km to schol, to friends, etc. Of course we cannot do that anymore But what I have realized is that in Monterrey there are no options for children to walk\!\!\! Eso les quita el super importante movimiento\! Cross movement is SO import bc it creates bridges in our brain, so imp for future thinking 80% are made the first 5 yrs\! Si siempre están sitting… early academics… but they need the bridges to learn\! Need to walk, run, play\! To think creatively in the future Your childhood was different from now Also using the physical body with joy It’s taken away for the children, we park in front of the super of the KG, instead of walking 100 meters safe and secure all the way to the supermarket, no, we are practical, we want to be at the door Please consider how can I bring back phys movement into the life fo my child Not talking about football… just this very normal and free walking What is also happening when you walk with the children.. They start to relax If at least 20 minu you can see the phys body… star breathing down into te belly And when the children have done this walk, the sparkling eyes aredifferent Their social interaction is different, not hyper or aggressive or tired, bc blood and air has come into the body and they can forget all theis learning and be only children We want to care for phy body every day they ar growing Every morning you have a new child\! So much is happening Suddenly you have to think: has my child moved enough todY? Thats why Im encouraging very much if they have th possibility, do it, bc then we can take it off the shoulders of the parents. Of course in places it is impossible But how can I make a walk with my child… If the KG are able to accommodate tht need, the parent busy doing things with the children, they can be helped How can I bring joy again? By moving Even for you as an adult to walk 20 30 min a day is really important, you get new thoughts, new possibilities and we have to carry so many things' We see new solutions when we feel lighter Also, the sleep becomes better A lot of problems with falling asleep can be that the phys body has not been used, the head yes, so we cannot let go We are not tired enough Hopefully you all have been out for 10 km on a hike… you fall asleep fast, and wake up and feel ready, and you wake up by yourself **NUTRITION** Nutrition, and not FOOD 80% of our nutrition, is actually not the physical food. Its everything around food. Smell, taste, memory, If I say food you start remembering your grandmothers tamales, mole… we hve all this non-intellectual memory from something where we felt OOG Food has a lot to do with feeling good, safe, Food, nutrition has a lot to do with I know where the food comes from Not conssiously, we dont tell the child But when we go to the supermarket we can see the farmer… see their body… our children really get lie=k… they really appreciate that this food has not come only from the supermarket. Somebody has been growing this food Bring it to the KG… grow something, like herbs, so we have the smell inour kitchen, good memories, we stimulate the joy, the sense of jooy And learning how to cook does not come by itself We need to show our children how to cook\! Maybe parents today are so busy that they have no tiem to invite them to cook Or we buy the food one; there is nothing wrong with buying, but we need to cook something else, beans, rice, salad guacamole to go with the tamales… You make incredible food here in Mexico… al l cultures do, but it will disappear very fast\! Obesity in MX is huge\! 60% of children , diabetes, etc. You have to realize you need to bring your good healthy food back into your life However you can But you need to allow them to be part of they cooking Let tem try, play, food Then they will see the mystery… how food is transformed\! Thet experience transitions Very important bc they experience thansitions all the time So food is tremendously important But most of all, that we do it together, that we sit together at the table, no media, no tv no cell phone… In the memento you dare to do that you get into a relationship with your child Im seen by my most loved person..\! My parents And the children love you so much And when they feel that you actually see tham and you dont need to be with them all the tiem, if you are present, they can relax and start to play, and they can also sleep Bc you can only let go when you feel safe and secure… Very often they haven’t felt you… but if it has had its parent-battery filled, it can let go Bc Im in safe hands So Nutriton is something your body needs to have to grow, and it needs the best nutrition Also healthy nutrition And you create habits when they are small, and it's difficult to change when they grow If they know that dessert is used to be cozy, then they think the only way to be cozy is with sweets So consider what habits you give to your children Some habits are passed by generation, even some unhealthy might be ok… but realy think if its something you want to pass on to your children **RHYTHM** What does my daily life look like? Do I have the same life as before I had children? Or do I live just to survive? Or do I live like this bc the surrounding tell me to live like this Maybe its not the best rhythmical life when I have little children We need to go to bed early, and the child will wake up at 7, and we leave at 8, so what do I do before we have to leave home? Mostly we need around 1 hour to make sure we have time to hug and kiss… etc. make a cup of coffee.. Make easy breakfast, like porridge, take a very short tiem Sit down and eat with your child So many children don't have time to eat Think of your children as farmers, they work like a farmer, they dig all the way to China every day\! So they need to have good food\! If you dont eat bf, they imitate you So you rather sit and eat Even if you dont like it\! Just for them, you have to sacrifice, like eating porridge in the morning… Remember children are nto little adults, but they need good food, and you are the one that gibes them the habits If they dont want to eat it the first day, just give it to them the next day, etc. TIny bit… until they eat… in three days you an change a habit Sometimes they dont know why they say no NEVER force them to eat Create happiness around the eating If they eat spinach, no drama, spinach is on the plate, it will be there, just try it, We create a rhythm where we have doings, way of behaving, habits, the same every day, our children will feel safe and secure And there are periods in our childrens lives At 2.5 they will always be difficult… it is… 3 yrs olf is a huge step, separating from the world… maybe for 5, 6 weeks… Now the social play is starting to penetrate inside itself, starts havint imaginations, own pictures, they start peeing int he bed… retroceden 5 yrs old is the most fantastic, everything is possible At 6 they go donw for 3 months, there is nobody to play with There are those periods, those are difficult But if you do exactly the same every day, the child who is suffering can lean on what he used to do. It gives security in their unsecure world, when they go through transitions that are huge Where am I in the day? Are the days the same? It also helps you No way we dont brush our teeth… a rhythmical life is very very good **LOVE, CARE** Unconditional love We love our children, no matter what We will support our children but we cannot live the life of our child My responsibility is to be there when its needed, and also to teach what is right and what is wrong ANd I don't make wrong right bc its my child, So many parents defend a wrong doing of their child and the child looks at their parents knowing they did something wrong,.. And they get confused You have to make it very clera We dont hit And I dont hit my child or other people Maybe it happens, in desperation, but it doesn't make it right Why was nobody seeing this We need to be better and not burden our children with daily matters Your problems ar not interesting to your child You dont hve to tell your child what will happen tomorrow.. No When it happens, it happens Specially i MX you change your plans all the time And I am sure a child can feel desperate… Why do you have to tell them everything that you will do tomorrow Whey should a child be burdened? No, keep quiet You can tell your child in 5 minutes we will start cleaning… Hopefully you wont change your plans in 5 minutes Don't burden your children with all your plans Do the rhythmical life and then keep the child out of the adults world Of course you need to give some information… depending on the age you can tell them more and explain. But you don't say, oh, we don't have chicken, and the child will start screaming You have to pick your battles, the family boundaries, what is it that I really want my child to learn And in your own spiritual learning, you will grow tremendously being a parent, and if you are open to listening, you will become a wiser person That make s big difference Love it not to judge, but to accept, but set healthy boundaries, be a role model, how things are solved in life. That is love ona higher level Not only the selfish love To have a higher love you have to develop a lot and grow Nobody needs to be what I want them to be, parents children, are what they want to become. These are the tools that when you have a situation in your life you can ask yourself, where am I in those five conditions… sleep? If I am tense, sleep, or move, nowoder I dont get a new idea… just eating… Its so simple and often the simple things are the most difficult I have heard from so many places around the world, that they have used my book for parent meetings… they read and then they share, bc we all solve things differently, but together we can support each other.. We can only be stron if we are strong together We are as strong as the weakest of us. ‘ SIESTA no es como DORMIR de noche Melatonina es en la noche Siesta es diferente, es purely sleep to re-boost the senses and to learn what they have learned in the morning So siesta is very important So a 5-6 yr old does not need a siesta but can lay down The little ones need to sleep Under 3 yrs, around 2 hours Sleep has to be between 12 to 2 pm It is problematic when kg closes at 1.30, teachers have to wake up the children, and you should never wake up a child..\!\!\! So I recommend you keep the schools open a little later Its very important Not three hours\! The first year is so special, first 1.5 years But some places let them sleep from 2 to 4, and then they cannot sleep at night So, 11:30, or 12, should start Never wake a child con prisa, violencia o que le cause un sobresalto Start making sounds, so the child wakes up by himself, to jump out of the deep sleep, and not spend hours crying because it has been interrupted So if you need to wake her up, start singing, making sonidos amables, open the door… I would speak to the parents if a child is not well rested Is it possible for the family to consider going to bed earlier? There can be reasons that no way we can sleep before 10 pm, but when you know that, then let the child sleep longer at school, but the best would be for the parents to realize Just until they are 7 The moment they get more sleep, the parents say thank you, I have a new child **Two more hours of sleep and our family life has changed** **It will be difficult in the beginning but worth it in the end.** How long should a 13 yr old sleep? They start sleeping more than when they were little, when they are 9\. They get very tired at school Prepuberty, 11, 12, 13… they start worrying a lot and it's difficult to fall asleep maybe spend hours spinning in bed, but still, it’s better Maybe they want you to read aloud to them Lord of the Rings? In English Find something that is a little challenge, hae you and I time It won't take too much time from you Then we come to the difficult time 15, 16, etc. Where they absolutely cannot sleep before 11 pm; its true\! But that doesn't mean they can be on media\! Get a book Don't let your teenager have media in their room In their room, no media, Pull it out, no internet Como conservar el ritmo en vacaciones? Es un tiempo muy importante, ellos crecen mucho\! Pero no hay que soltar del todo el ritmo Esta ha sido la bendición de Covid En Dinamarca la gente se va de vacaciones a españa, francia, etc. Y ahora no han podido Han tenido que ir al bosque o a la playa Y se han dado cuenta de que es MUY LINDO Dinamarca Y los niños felices de que no tuvieron que ir a esos stupid holidays\! Children don’t ask for much They ask for you If you can take them for a walk.. Make food over fire There will be some inconvenience.. But… you can also do a little more luxury Your children do not need a lot What is the minimum III NEED Don't go to bed late Keep the routine in the weekend If you want good advice Of course there are special times, nd you pay the price, it takes about a week to come back to normal It's not worth it to make weekends different PLEASE little media Screen time is doing a damage to their brain They should be running, creating, building, crying It steals childhood And its not giving you peace,its a false peace feeling \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*